Upper Deck was going strong in 1994. The cards were high quality with bronze effects and even “electric diamond” in a parallel (whatever that means). And as always, the pictures were high quality as we had come to find in an Upper Deck product. But just because the quality of the card was great it didn’t mean that the subject matter was “normal.” This is the last of a three-part series to find some oddities from a $5 retail box from a flea market.
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The final installment of our look at 1994 Upper Deck looks at some of the unexplainable images or things that just appear to be a bit odd. You might be looking at these and thinking the same thing I did, “WTF!”
#1 – Randy the Photographer
Randy Johnson is a professional baseball player. Randy Johnson is also an amateur photographer.
Or maybe…
Maybe Randy feels like he can do anything. I mean, he’s an awesome pitcher so why can’t he do whatever he wants. He’s probably had people blowin’ smoke to him about all sorts of things his whole life.
Maybe he took all of his 6’10” frame to an Upper Deck photographer and just said, “I think you want to let me try that out.” We the other photographer on site was using this photograph that was in a series of photographs in case something nasty went down.
Randy John is a professional baseball player. Randy John is whatever he says he is.
#2 – The Floating Fist Bump
In the beginning of the ’93 season, Cecil Fielder felt like he wasn’t getting enough love on the baseball diamond. Well, that’s just plain wrong and Cecil was gonna do something about it.
In “steps” Thing. You know, the disembodied hand from The Addam’s Family. Thing hadn’t been doing much since he finished filming of The Addam’s Family Values and he needed a steady gig. So Cecil’s agent gave him a call.
AGENT: Thing, I got a proposition for ya. How would you like to help out the big slugga?
THING: …
AGENT: Oh, that’s great! That’s just great! You guys are gonna make a tremendous team you are.
THING: …
AGENT: You drive a hard bargain Mr. Thing, but I think we can accommodate you on your Skittles request.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
#3 – One-Armed Dan
Oh, Jesus! Someone help Dan. He’s lost a friggin’ arm people. Don’t you see what’s going on…
Hold on, nevermind. Someone get Dan a backscratcher! This is like the 20th most important person on the team people, let’s get him what he needs.
Now let’s make sure we make Dan’s padded cell as comfortable as possible.
#4 – Mike “Bear Hug” Perez
Isn’t Ozzie Smith just the most huggable thing you’ve ever seen? Mike Perez thinks so. In fact, this was a common occurrence during Spring Training in ’94. Whenever he saw Ozzie he just couldn’t resist. He would tip toe all sneaky-like and… WHAM! Arms wrapped all around Ozzie.
Now Ozzie is a nice guy, and he never really let this out, but Ozzie didn’t mind these playful hugs to begin with. But after a little while he wasn’t so happy with them. I have a feeling that’s why the Cards let him go as a free agent after the ’94 season.
I don’t know though, just speculation…
#5 – The Scouting Prospect
Daron Kirkreit wanted to be a pitcher, he really did. That’s what that P next to his name is on the card. But at it turns out Daron had other talents. Talents like holding up a radar gun with the word “Jugs” on it and enduring all the snickering from the people around him. Or writing down numbers. Not just writing down numbers, but also putting them in the correct boxes on the paper he had.
Daron Kirkreit, former pitcher, but current scouting prospect.
#6 – John’s Money Shot
One of my favorite types of photos on any baseball card are of players signing autographs. It just makes me happy because that’s what I like to do at a game if I can. And in this one, you can almost see that “card on a card” in there with someone holding what might be a Donruss card out with a pen for John Wetteland to sign (looks like maybe a ’90 card back).
But what puts me off on this one is the way Mr. Wetteland is standing. Sure maybe he is just trying to get some solid footing and get closer to the fans with that damned tarp in the way. But it looks a bit odd. Actually the more you look at it the creepier it gets. Yikes, stop looking at me John!
#7 – The Upside-Down World of Mike Deveraux
Mike Deveraux looks like he might be working out his tumbleweed impersonation. He is from Casper, Wyoming and I imagine there might be some tumbleweed in those parts (never been near there though).
Or maybe he’s got a dance move he’s working on. Is that the move from the movie Stomp the Yard? Is Cal Jr. around there doing the other part of the move?
#8 – Magic Gregg and the Floating Ball Trick
First, let’s talk about the absolute best part of this card. That Hulk Hogan mustache is KILLER! Kudos to you Gregg. That right there makes you deserving of the second “g” in your name. That thing is a monster and really puts out that magician vibe.
That’s what we are really looking at though. Is this magic, or is this the Force. You know it starts with making baseballs hover. But if you don’t have the right coaching you could go down the dark path and the next thing you know you’re Force-choking umpires.
Careful Gregg!
#9 – Show Some Gut
I think someone from Upper Deck needs some more cropping help. How do you not notice what is going on at the bottom of that card.
Rolls and gut hair are not what I usually like to see on a baseball card. I know it’s there. I know it’s just under what we see on the card. But those jerseys are there to protect us folks. They don’t just tell us what team guys are on. They’re there for our optical protection.
#10 – The Big Glove
This isn’t new on cards. These big gloves (or is it just one big glove that goes around) have been on a few cards over the years. It just freaks me out every time I see it. And Juan’s hand doesn’t necessarily look small inside that thing. It almost looks like he going to try a wind up with that on. I’d be worried I would tip over.
Note to Mizuno… just because you can make something doesn’t mean it needs to exist.
#11 – Billy Hall’s Got Balls
Do we really need all the baseballs Billy is sitting around to tell us that he is a baseball player? Do we need the bat even? I think we can assume that he is just by the uniform.
I don’t generally like to try to sit on or around baseballs. They’re hard and uncomfortable. Plus in this picture they are in the best spot. Did he just poop them out?
This has all the trappings of a bad school photo.
About 1994 Upper Deck Baseball Cards
1994 Upper Deck is a 550-card set that was issued in two series. There are a number of subsets with in that incuding: Star Rookies, Home Field Advantage, Top Prospects, etc. The way that Upper Deck released the cards was regional so different cards went to different parts of the country. The design for the card was supposed to be released as SP in the same year but Upper Deck released it as their normal release.
The players to highlight for the set (and how the cards are labeled) were:
- Star Rookies: Michael Jordan (baseball), Alex Rodriguez, Carlos Delgado Cliff Floyd, Shawn Green, Manny Ramirez
- Diamond Debuts: Chan Ho Park
- Top Prospects: Billy Wagner, Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon, Derek Jeter